I’ve made a promise to myself.
Well, technically someone else heard said promise, so I guess I made a promise to her, as well.
Today marks the start of week two of my third go ‘round of a little flick in my life I’ve entitled “Running for Women – The Beginner. Still.”
The opening montage is quite spectacular. You really must see it.
I have to admit, this is actually week three of the class. In week one, I was still wavering in my decision to either take the course again or give in to what may just be my non-running destiny and find some other form of something to keep my lower half off the couch.
I let fate decide.
Usually the classes fill up fairly quickly. I pondered and waited then pondered some more before I finally called on the day the class was to begin to see if they had any open spots left. I told myself if there were any openings, then I would sign up to take the class again. But if it was full, I was not going to request a spot on the waiting list. At that point, to me, it just “wasn’t meant to be.”
In my heart, I hoped I’d be turning down a spot on the waiting list. Not so. There was one (1!) opening left.
I made a deal and I knew I had to stick with it. I doled out my payment information and hopped onto the mailing list, quickly receiving the week’s itinerary.
However, sure the class would be full and I’d still have time for other fun stuff that week, I had already made plans for the nights of the running class, so I skipped week one.
When I joined the class in week two, I was happy to see some of the same students I had played with in classes past. At first, it was difficult to see them in the large group, what with me not wanting to make eye contact with strangers and all. I finally looked up enough to see someone waving me across the circle. Once I realized I knew the small group on the other side, I pranced over and it felt (almost) like home.
Then the whistles began.
I immediately regretted taking the entire Christmas break off. My body was angry with me from step one and growing angrier, still, with every step that followed.
I tried to stay quiet. Tried to be the dutiful student.
I believe I kept repeating some form of the following:
“Just tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it. Go about your business. Nothing to see here. Carry on. I’ll catch up to you.”
I’ve found I’m not one to appreciate the “talk test.” I do admit, talking makes the time go by a little quicker, but I’m just not much of a conversationalist. As you can plainly tell.
I’m okay talking about other people and what brought them here and what are some of the things they’re interested in and what outcome do they hope to achieve by taking this class.
I’m okay with others talking. I’m just not one of them. Most of what comes out of my mouth during our time together seems to be in the form of complaints: “Are we done yet?” “Where’s the whistle!?” “I think she miscounted! We only have one interval left, not two!” “Why do we have to run through neighborhoods when people are cooking dinner, forcing delicious smelling air to come wafting through our path?” (Yes, I really do speak like that.)
Which leads me back to my promise. Here it is: During class, I will not complain.
Now…I had a hard time even finishing that sentence before a tiny burst of laughter escaped. So let me rephrase my promise:
During class, I will try not to complain.
Perhaps that’s why there were still openings for this class. Because this site is all about me, I can safely say I think there were openings left specifically to teach me something. All the other students? Just along for the ride.
Maybe I’m not meandering about in the freaking cold night air to learn to run. That ship has passed. In my current state (physically, not locationally. There are no laws against running where I live.), it’s not likely I would be able to run anything more than short, simple intervals. Bummer for me. But maybe I’m there to learn something about society and how to interact within it.
It’s good for me to be around other people, I’m sure. And I’m learning to speak more. Why, often times, I even start a conversation all on my own. I can learn new things, after all.
Still, I wish I would have realized this was all about me and my societal relations prior to relinquishing my payment information.