Abide by the Stride
Our RFW class is smack dab in the middle of its eighth week.
I’m remembering the eighth week not-so-fondly from the last session. This is right around when things started to go awry for me and my ability, desire and self-confidence.
…mostly my self-confidence.
This was close to the time when I first began to realize I may not be able to simply “push through” the wall of pain. Around the time I came to terms with the fact I may never feel the infamous “Runner’s High,” about which I’d heard great things.
Thanks to the never-ending efforts of the coaches, I’ve been better able to prepare for this segment of the class. They’ve worked with me to create a set of intervals that would assist me on my forward journey and help me stay positive, while at the same time not risk the progress and morale of the rest of the class.
Mind you, I’m still the Whiner Winner here. There are few – actually none that I can see – who have as many colorful things to say during the intervals as I.
I’m attempting to find a whole new pace for myself. One that will trick my legs into thinking they’re not moving at all. Thus, little or no pain. The trouble is, in actuality, my legs are barely moving. Thus, little or no gain on anyone in The Group. Thank goodness for looping, (as each run interval ends, runners at the front of the group “loop” around and fall behind those in the back), lest I be left out on the Nature Trail by myself.
Earlier this week, I surprised myself by putting together not only entire sentences, but whole and properly formed paragraphs containing words of encouragement to someone who had expressed hesitance in continuing their exercise.
I typed with feverishly. My hands directed my fingers to the keys in a quick and rhythmic fashion. By the time I was done, my mind had no memory of containing the thoughts that were now laid out on the screen before me.
That’s when it occurred to me; I might actually get through this journey. Or at the very least, get further along than I am right now. As I’ve stated before, this last year or so has been one of growth and stepping out of my comfort zone whenever I felt the action was warranted. I’ve done a fairly decent job of challenging myself and rising up to those challenges. But I do not kid myself.
I have a long – LONG – way to go.
And so, just as I’ve found my own new pace on the trail, I must also slow down and take time to reevaluate the expectations I have for myself. It turns out, lofty goals are not for me right now. I’m in more of a “baby step” (literally) mode. Tiny, challenging but achievable, goals.
Once I truly come to accept this fact, perhaps I will learn to allow myself to simply enjoy the ride.